Thursday, February 14, 2013

Valentine's Day... or as we call it, Thursday

See, me and my friends are romantic and sweet and thoughtful and sexy all the time, so Valentine’s Day is just kind of another day for us.

But we know not all guys are as great as us (ie, not all women are as lucky as our girls).  So, since I’ve got access to these guys (and women who will tell it as it is), I figured I might give you guys and girls a few ideas for the big holiday.

The recipe:  Food + Sex = Happy Valentine’s Day.

And don’t even try to tell me that Valentine’s Day shouldn't be all about sex.  Of course it should.  As should Arbor Day, Columbus Day, and Monday-Sundays.

Now, personally, my choice is hot fudge.  It’s simple… you take the hot fudge (make sure it’s not TOO hot) and pretend the other person is the ice cream.  Get it?  And yes, cherries, caramel sauce, marshmallow cream and sprinkles can all make it better.  (Nuts, not so much—those little pieces of peanut can be like gravel on skin.)  I really like sprinkles.  And the hot fudge helps them really stick… just sayin’.  And sure, you can use ice cream too—done that and it was just fine.  (tip:  let it melt down a little-- it will drizzle better).

My buddy Sam wanted to contribute to this post too.  He says, “Melt some butter and pretend you’re both popcorn”. 

Yep, butter all over both of you.  See, none of this is difficult.

I’m going to include Kevin’s too because he’ll pout if I don’t.  (Yes, men can pout. Trust me.)  Kev recommends getting a bag of your favorite candy (jellybeans are a favorite around his house) and then making a candy trail leading from the front door to the bedroom (Ben insists I add “or any room”) and to you—naked except for more strategically placed candy. 

Okay, Morgan is reading over my shoulder here and said not to forget a note.  Doesn’t have to be a fancy card, doesn’t have to be a poem (though naughty limericks or erotic stories are highly encouraged—(that’s from me, if you couldn’t tell)), a heartfelt, handwritten note telling the other person how you really feel is worth more than roses or diamonds.

(And now Sara is making me add that roses and diamonds are absolutely okay too though.  Candlelight dinner, dancing… yeah, yeah, those are great, whatever.  (Boring).)

Let me tell you this right now—guys are easy.  Simple even.  Put on a t-shirt (no panties), curl up in bed with butterscotch schnapps infused whipped cream and tell him that he can lick whipped cream off of wherever he wants every time he says something sweet and romantic.

Everybody wins.

You’re welcome.

1 comment:

  1. LOL thanks for al the great tips Dooley, now you made me crave hot fudge ;-p